


All Aboard!

by queer_hell



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Bros with benefits- bokuroo, Eventual Smut, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Nonbinary kenma, Semi-public masturbation, Senpai kink???, Trans Male Character, Trans kuroo, alcohol mention, college life au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-03 18:18:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4110481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queer_hell/pseuds/queer_hell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo actually groaned, which earned him a sharp jab in the ribs from Bokuto. Who oddly enough looked like a model scholar. He had even taken multiple pages of not-- no, no. Those were definitely just doodles of Akaashi covering the page. Dressed in a bear...costume?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Choo choo

**Author's Note:**

> I can't stop writing trans Kuroo nobody can stop me I'm on fire ಥ⌣ಥ
> 
> His trans-ness is not central to the plot but it is definitely there.

Whoever had the idea to position a clock behind the teacher in college lecture halls was either a genius or a sadist. On one hand, nobody could tell when you were counting down the seconds to dismissal, but you also had no choice in counting down the seconds until sweet freedom was yours. Kuroo tapped his knee against the table anxiously, this lecture hall was too big and he really wanted to just groan and flop his head down on his forgotten notes, but the noise created by that would surely echo and bring the unwanted attention of the droning professor.  
His phone buzzed lightly in his lap.

\---From: kei-chan ( ˘ ³˘)♥  
Message text:

_i made it im trying to find ur apartment wtf why is ur school so fucking big??_

Oh...his tiny country crow. Lost in the big city (college campus) without his big, strong friend... who is a boy...to help him.

He typed up a quick reply telling him to wait at the coffee place in the literal middle of campus. He couldn't miss it. 

They weren't _exactly_ dating but like...he had come to Tokyo to hang out with him. At the place where he lived. Kuroo was pretty sure he didn't do that for just anyone. Tsukishima acted like he hated everyone. And Tsukishima made fun of him enough that there was no way their relationship was strictly platonic...right?

This time Kuroo actually groaned, which earned him a sharp jab in the ribs from Bokuto. Who oddly enough looked like a model scholar. He had even taken multiple pages of not-- no, no. Those were definitely just doodles of Akaashi covering the page. Dressed in a bear...costume?

To each their own. Or something like that. He rubbed at his tender side, shooting Bokuto the most confused look he could muster while gesturing wildly at his friend's notebook. He only responded with a shrug and grinned towards the podium, the haze of unrequited love covering him like a blanket.

Not like Kuroo Tetsurou, resident pervert and head over heels loser, had any room to talk.

It wasn't like he'd been keeping his crush on his once kouhai a secret from like everyone he knew. 

Okay, Bokuto _had_ found out on one particularly drunk night they shared together. They'd both been too trashed to go to their respective housing, so they ended up crashing on someone's bed and some time in between (really messy) make out sessions Kuroo had started crying about how Tsukishima Kei would never love him. Bokuto had gone into full on bro comfort mode and that was all he could remember. 

Kuroo received another sharp jab from Bokuto, who gave him a quizzical look (honestly how the fuck did his eyebrows even _move_ like that?) and made a pair of glasses with his hands. Kuroo tried to nod covertly to avoid attracting the professor's attention, and Bokuto gave him another glance and then mimed humping-- fucking christ he was a child-- and Kuroo slapped his arm. Hard. They both sunk in their seats as the professor gave a brief glance their way. Fucking... Bokuto. He was more trouble than he was worth, but he was a good bro. And unlike Kenma (his best not-bro) Bokuto was free with his affections whenever and where ever the mood struck him. One time Bokuto had gotten a B on a test he hadn't studied for and he celebrated by giving Kuroo a _very_ passionate kiss on the mouth. In the middle of class.

No matter what, they were definitely best bros, and Kuroo knew if he ever had the sudden urge to just make out with Bokuto he would totally be alright with it. 

Kuroo shook off the arousal that was creeping through his belly. He wasn't supposed to be getting horny thinking about his bro. That was super weird. Not when the love of his life was on the same campus as him. Like within a mile of his being. That thought train was a mistake because choo-choo the fucking lewd thoughts train just broke through the wall that was Kuroo's decency at light speeds and now he had a fucking wet spot in his boxers. Holy shit he was so excited to see Tsukki.

The clock ticked down to noon, and the professor dismissed them. Kuroo shot straight out of his seat, followed seconds later by Bokuto. They rushed up the nearby stairs, (they always sat on the aisle for a quick escape route) Bokuto taking them two at a time as he chattered to Kuroo.

"Bro, let's have a party this weekend. My place. We'll have a mutual confession party. With a lot of alcohol."

"Bokuto what the fuck is that?"

"Dude, it's like, you can finally fuckin tell glasses that you like him and wanna get at that treasure in his pants and I'll tell Akaashi that I want him to be my angel of love."

"Boku--" he gasped in between wheezes of laughter, "Bokuto do not fuckin tell Akaashi that he is gonna laugh in your face."

Kuroo swore he saw his friend's hair visibly deflate.

"Ok, but like, what the fuck am I supposed to tell him? Like my brain stops working and i cant talk when ever I see that beautiful fuckin face of his."

They pushed out the double doors into the blazing sun, squinting hard at the crowds of people mulling about campus. Bokuto was always looking for Akaashi, since he hadn't had a chance to figure out his schedule and was too shy to just ask him if they could walk between buildings together.

Kuroo locked his sights on the campus coffee shop, where his grumpy angel awaited him.  
"Well, Bokuto, you could just tell him that you want him to dress up as a bear for you for the rest of your days. That should do the trick. Probably."  
Kuroo shrieked as Bokuto jumped onto his back to deliver a noogie that would have been fatal to lesser men. He managed to throw his bro off and then booked it to the coffee shop.  
Bokuto shouted out, "LEMMEKNOWABOUTTHEPARTYBRO!!!"

Kuroo shot off a text super quick as he ran.

\---To: kei-chan ( ˘ ³˘)♥  
Message text:

_SEE YOU IN 10 SEC (´∀｀)♡_


	2. Local Man Ruins Everything, Breaks Barista

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I...I am sorry. There's a little smut towards the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really slow writing this chapter because honestly I've been playing the school idol game in all my free time this week trying to get the special rin card so sue me  
> (=^･ｪ･^=)

Kuroo kicked in the doors to the campus coffee shop exactly 10.5 seconds after he sent that text to Tsukishima.  
“Tsuuuuuuuuukki~~!!”

He noted Tsukishima sitting huddled in the corner near the drink counter. He knew the younger man was very finnicky when he went to coffee shops. He hated waiting at the counter for his order (“It makes me feel like I’m breathing down their necks”) and he also hated having to get back up for his drink (“I feel like I’ve just sat down and then I feel silly getting back up. It’s like everyone is staring at me.”) Kuroo noticed he didn’t have a drink yet, so he waltzed up to the counter. The regular barista, Sugawara was waiting for him with a cheerful grin.  
“Yoo, Kuroo, you want your usual?”  
“Suga,” he clutched at his heart, “you know me far too well. Give me one of those frothy strawberry drinks too. With lots of whipped cream.”  
“You got it!” Suga chirped as Kuroo handed him the bills for the drinks.  
Kuroo walked over to Tsukki’s table, and as he approached Tsukki unfolded his legs from under him. How he managed to fit his long legs onto a chair that small, Kuroo would never figure out.  
“Yoohoo, Tsukki~” 

Tsukki peered over the top of his glasses. Kuroo couldn’t help but get chills at the blonde’s cool gaze.  
“Kuroo, you didn’t have to get me a drink...it’s not like this is a date or anything”  
He sprawled across the seat and glared at Tsukki.  
“Tsukki, you wound me. I just wanted to buy my sweet kouhai a drink. And I know how you get with ordering drinks.”  
“I-i don’t get like anything...ordering drinks” Tsukki sputtered, and then added in a definite mocking tone, “ _Senpai._ " as the barista called out Kuroo’s order. 

Kuroo jumped up, trying to ignore the fuzzy feeling in his chest and gut and left Tsukki in his seat. It wasn’t every day that Tsukki called him _Senpai_.  
“Thanks~ Asahi!” he called out as he approached the counter.  
He noticed there were pink sprinkles on Tsukki’s drink, and he slammed his hands on the counter causing the tall brunette to jump.  
“Asahi...you’re the best barista ever...a true artist.”  
The barista nervously grabbed at his neck, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks.  
“I-i-it’s no trouble Kuroo,” he stutttered out quietly. “I just t-thought it would be a good finishing touch for such a cute drink. Good luck on your d-d-date, Kuroo!”  
This time it was Kuroo who felt the blush creeping up his face as he grinned at the other boy, “It’s not a da--...thanks Asahi, you’re really the best”. He grabbed the drinks with a wink and turned back to Tsukishima.  
The blonde had drawn his legs up to his chest (seriously how did he manage to fit on the chair like that?) and was gazing across the campus with his chin on his knees. He looked like he was doing his best to avoid Kuroo’s gaze. Kuroo set the drinks down carefully on the table, and followed Tsukki's gaze outside. Bokuto was laying on his back on the ground near the ornate fountain at the intersection of the winding paths around school and reaching up like a baby for Akaashi to pick him up. Akaashi was sitting on the edge of the fountain and had his face buried in a book; he looked like he was doing his best to ignore the owlish boy. 

Kuroo shook his head and choked back a snicker. At least he thought he had a better chance of his feelings being reciprocated out of the two of them. 

Tsukki finally looked down at his drink and Kuroo swore he saw pink dusting his friend's cheeks. "Ahh, Kuroo...you didn't have to get me something so...fancy. It's not like I'm some...girl you're trying to woo." He took a sip of the drink anyway, mumbling about how it was probably too expensive.  
"Anything for you, Tsukki!"  
Tsukki just harrumphed into his drink and took another sip. 

"Besides, you had a long drive here, right? It's the least I could do." 

"It wasn't that long...honestly."  
Kuroo couldn't help but let his grin cover his face. It felt like forever since the younger boy had visited him. Tsukki's school was practically on the other side of the country. Their visits were rare, but they kept their friendship strong with plenty of video chatting and texting.  
"You know," Tsukki mumbled, "I didn't just come here just for you, dumbass"  
Kuroo hummed a question as he took a sip of his coffee, ignoring the jab for now.  
"I...I might be thinking of transferring schools...here. The biology department has more courses that I want to take...and their internship placement is way better..." He trailed off, as Kuroo's face cracked into a huge smile. "Kuroo, that face is creepy as hell" 

Kuroo sat there with a blissed out expression for what felt like an hour, and came out his haze with Tsukki waving his hand lazily in front of his face.  
“Yo, are you going to change your major to astronomy? Come back to earth, Kuroo.”

He was running through simulations of their lives at the same school. Would Tsukki move into his apartment? Would he cook Kuroo breakfast in a frilly apron? He fixated on thoughts of the blonde boy in a pink apron, cooking dinosaur shaped pancakes. And then reality smacked Kuroo across the head.  
“Ahh! Tsukki! What about your ex? You’re not gonna be bothered going to the same school as him?”

Tsukki shook his head slightly, giving Kuroo a curious stare, “Why do you think I’d be weird about going to school with Tadashi? We were friends before we dated and we do still talk from time to time.”

“I-it was just a simple question, Tsukki...nothing to get so defensive about.” Kuroo gave his widest grin, but there was an uneasiness building in his chest. Tsukki snorted in response and turned his attention to his phone. Kuroo hadn’t known that Tsukki and his high school sweetheart were still on speaking terms. He didn’t think he had anything to worry about, though. Tsukki seemed over it, and he had seen Yamaguchi around campus a couple times and he didn’t think he put up much competition for Kuroo in the looks department. What could he say? He was vain as shit and knew he looked good. He was a much better match for Tsukki's cool exterior. Yamaguchi was kind of cute, he supposed, in like, a sad puppy way. 

Kuroo was idly scrolling through his phone, trying to sneak glances at Tsukishima. He got a quick peek of him trying to find his straw with his tongue-- _holy fuck that was cute_ \--before taking a long sip of his drink. As he sipped, his cheeks hollowed and Kuroo felt himself turn very red and a fresh flood of arousal seeped between his thighs. He hadn't expected Tsukki of all people to be making faces like that while they were in a coffee shop. Kuroo slapped his hands on the table too hard and choked out a quick "Bathroom!" and scrambled from the table. Fast. 

He almost crashed into Asahi in his rush to the door. The barista stammered out an apology as he juggled the mop and bucket that Kuroo nearly knocked from his hands but it went unnoticed as Kuroo had already made it into the bathroom and his haven. He careened into the nearest stall and locked himself in. He shoved his pants down to his ankles and had his hands in his boxers before he had finished sitting on the toilet's tank. He rubbed furiously into his clit, spreading the growing wetness between his legs. Fuck. His libido had been a pain in the ass to deal with when he first started hormones, but it had sort of panned out after the first year. Apparently it was just Tsukki's influence this time. He couldn't stop thinking about the erotic face his friend had unknowingly made. Did that somehow make it more apppealing? He focused on imagining Tsukki's face between his legs urging him on to orgasm. It was before his eyes, whispering sexy, dirty things; it was teasing him about how he was too easily overwhelmed by his arousal. He thought about Tsukki whispering "Senpai" in his ear as his long fingers trailed down Kuroo's belly. He shivered and moaned quietly into his arm. He thought about Tsukki's hands dragging across his body, stripping him bare and digging into his back and his hips. He had such beautiful hands. All of him was beautiful and Kuroo was overwhelmed. He shoved two fingers into his heat, imagining them to be Tsukki's much longer ones and this time he couldn't stifle the moan that spilled from his lips. He thought about Tsukki swallowing his moans with hungry kisses and-- _Fuck, he couldn't breathe_. His binder was too tight and panic set in as he gasped and panted for air. His fingers worked like a piston as he ran his other hand up his chest to his neck. He had only tried this once before and it had been awesome and he had never cum as fast. Which was what he needed now, since the last thing he wanted was Tsukki coming to check on him and finding him like...this.

Choking himself with one hand and fucking himself with the other. On the back of a toilet in a fucking coffee shop. God, the thought of Tsukki finding him like this was even hotter somehow, and Kuroo felt the heat in his gut pooling. He ground against his hand hard, eager for the friction it brought. He felt his muscles spasming, and he came, shaking and jerking while breathy moans slightly echoed around the bathroom. When he felt like his legs could support him again, he hopped to the ground and cleaned himself up. He flushed the toilet and reorganized his clothing and then froze as the sound of the door clicking shut registered in his hazy, post-orgasm brain.

_Motherfucker_

Kuroo cautiously exited the stall; there was no one else in here with him. Maybe someone had heard him and just peeked in the door? Fuck. What if some creep snuck in and had listened to the whole thing? _Fuck_. He tried to calm his trembling hands as he washed them slowly. He needed to relax. Tsukki would figure out something was up if Kuroo came out of the bathroom looking like he had just run a marathon. He dried his hands off and used the damp towel to clean some of the sweat from his brow, then grabbed the door handle. It was the moment of truth. He pulled the door handle and did his best to walk out with his most neutral expression on.  
Fuck, he was fucked. Tsukki was going to see through this and he was never going to want to be around his perverted friend again. He was going to go running back to sad puppy Yama-whatever-the-fuck his name was and they were going to rub their terrible incompatible but probably sickly cute relationship in Kuroo Tetsurou's perverted fucking face.  
He must have been making quite the expression because Suga was not succeeding in hiding a giggle behind his hand and Asa--oh fuck...Asahi was a million shades of red and Kuroo blanched as he slowly approached the counter. Asahi backed away, looking like a wild, cornered animal. He reached into his pocket and grabbed the first bill he felt and slid it across the counter to Asahi. He whispered to the quaking man, " _I'm so fucking sorry Asahi dude if there's anything I can do oh my god I'm so sorry..._ " as Asahi attempted to blurt out his own apology while somehow turning even more red. Kuroo stammered back more apologies at him and felt the tips of his ears burning, as Suga's giggles grew in volume and he made his way over to Asahi, clapping his fellow employee on the back.  
"Kuroo, please don't ever," he hiccupped, "traumatize... another employee here like that...ever again...for god's sake go home or," he was overtaken by giggles again, "ask one of us to help you out!"  
Suga was down for the count, as he doubled over giggling and wheezing in equal measure. Tsukishima had caught on that something was happening and had gotten up. He didn't look upset, just confused. Kuroo turned his attention back to Asahi and apologized again. He jumped as he felt a breath on his ear--when the fuck had Tsukki made it over here?!  
"Kuroo, why are you immobilizing the baristas?"

Suga somehow heard that and was wheezing anew, and Asahi scrambled to the register to help the customers who had wandered in.

Kuroo's face was heating up, he had never imagined his own name could sound so...sensual. Wetness was building between his thighs again. This boy was going to be the absolute death of him. He plastered on a smile and brightly chirped, "Just a really good joke I saw written in the bathroom! Can you believe that? We should probably go too! We're taking up prime real estate here!"

Tsukki cocked his head and scanned the half full cafe, then looked hard into Kuroo's eyes,  
"I really can't believe that, but if you say so, Kuroo," as he shrugged it off.

They walked over to the table to grab their belongings and headed towards the door, Tsukki trailing a couple feet behind him.  
Kuroo yanked the door open for Tsukki and Suga, having regained his composure and sunny demeanor called out brightly after them,  
"Don't wear him out too fast, Kuroo! Aim for a second round!"

Kuroo gave him a death glare masked in a grin as he pulled the glass door shut behind him. It only made Suga burst out in a fresh fit of giggles.

"Where's your stuff, Tsukki?" he muttered darkly.

"Ahh, I already dropped it off at your place. Kenma was there but they said they were leaving for a class around 1. Why?"

"Perfect..." Kuroo took a quick glance at his phone to check the time. 1:15. He saw a text from Bokuto asking about their party plans, and he shot off an affirmative as the gears in his brain ground into place. He couldn't help the smirk playing around his lips and noticed Tsukki was staring as he licked his upper lip lightly.

"Say, Tsukki. You want your senpai to show you the best party of your life tonight?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are really appreciated and they make my day!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> ＼(;´□｀)/
> 
> You can find me at  
> queerxhell.tumblr.com


	3. Local Man Ruins Everything Again, Breaks Owl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're at Kuroo's apartment and things are awkward for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took forever to update I've had a lot of irl stuff making me not want to write and I also had to drag myself out of school idol hell.

Kuroo and Tsukki walked side by side through the shaded campus, sunlight filtering through the densely covered trees that lined the path. Kuroo couldn't help but stare as the sunbeams flickered over Tsukishima's face. He had expected harsh lines and angles to match the other's prickly exterior, but he only found unexpectedly soft curves. round, slightly pinked cheeks that rose to meet the bottom rim of his glasses as he smirked. ("Probably thinking up a new arsenal of insults for tonight") Then his barely upturned button nose ("C-cute...") And then his quirked upper lip, which combined with his too-soft looking lower lip and they formed a slight pout. Kuroo beat down the urge to dip Tsukishima into a triumphant kiss, since there was no feasible way Tsukki would have any kind of reaction to that which could not be described as terrifying.

Kuroo knotted his hand in his hair as they came closer to the apartment, the other shoved firmly in his front pocket. He was anxious and he didn't want to end up fiddling around. Tsukki was too sharp for that to go unnoticed.

He let out a (very fake) yawn, partially from his quickly fraying nerves.

"Honestly Kuroo," Tsukki exhaled, keeping his gaze forward, "It's not even 2 pm. How am I supposed to see 'the best party of my life' when your old man ass is falling asleep?"

Kuroo stopped in his tracks to pick his shattered jawbone off the concrete. Tsukki continued his leisurely pace as the apartment building came into view. Of course Tsukki wasn't going to stop for him to recover after that god tier burn, Kuroo thought dejectedly. He'd just have to make the best of the situation then.

Taking a moment to collect himself, he drew back like he was about to run a sprint. And then he did. He quickly caught up the distance that had grown between them and went straight into a flying tackle that launched Tsukishima off of the path into the plush grass beyond. He rolled a couple feet, followed messily by Kuroo who couldn't stop howling in laughter. Tsukki sat up quickly and adjusted his glasses, sputtering and turning redder by the second. Kuroo took a quick glance at him and he looked like a pouty child, covered in grass stains with ruffled up hair. He broke out into a fresh fit of giggles as Tsukki locked eyes with him. Kuroo managed to get off the ground and went to extend a hand to the blonde who was still sitting splayed out on the ground. He uncrossed his arms to reach for Kuroo's hands, and at the last second a devious smile slipped onto his face as he swung his leg around to hook behind Kuroo's knees. Kuroo was caught off guard and fell hard to the ground on his back. Tsukki fell back on the soft lawn, heaving and gasping in a fit of giggles.  
Kuroo closed his eyes and let the sound wash over him. He'd never heard Tsukki laugh like that before, and if he had to suffer some minor physical pain in order to have that sound bless his ears again, well, volleyball was certainly good at training his body for that.

He felt a nudge at his side from Tsukki's sneakered toe,  
"Oy, Kuroo, you alright?"

Kuroo tucked his body and sprung up to his feet.  
"It would take more than a simple trip trick to take me out, Tsukki. I owe you for that one," he grinned slyly and held his hand out again to help Tsukki to his feet.  
Tsukki bypassed Kuroo's offering and instead lifted himself up, then readjusted his shirt which had ridden up in the tumble to reveal a decent portion of his stomach. Kuroo helped himself to a small ogle at Tsukki's body. He appreciated how soft looking Tsukishima's stomach looked, though he could see the effects of his volleyball career just under the surface. There was also a fine trail of light hairs under his belly button.

Kuroo pulled at his collar, suddenly very uncomfortable with the cloth touching his skin. It was one thing to fantasize, but to have the subject of his affections right in front of him was a bit too much, and Kuroo felt himself blushing as a wave of shyness rolled over him.

"We should-uhh get back to the apartment, don't you think?"

"I dunno, Kuroo. I was thinking that I might want to spend the rest of the day covered in grass stains and dirt."

Kuroo responded by shoving Tsukishima's shoulders back, knocking him off balance, and then taking off towards the apartment with a wild yell.

"FIRST ONE TO THE DOOR GETS FIRST SHOWER!"

He heard a loud grumble from Tsukishima as his feet beat into the turf, then the pavement. He had this in the bag.  
As soon as he thought it, the sound of hard footfalls came up behind him. Fuck it. Tsukki's hand came down hard on his shoulder and he used it to propel himself forward.

"I'm...getting...that...shower...first...dumbass" 

Tsukki huffed as he overtook Kuroo, his longer legs at a clear advantage in this race. Kuroo dug down deep and sprinted to catch up but to no avail; they had covered the distance in record time and Tsukki slammed his hands into the door in victory. Kuroo groaned and fell to his knees to regain control of his breathing. Tsukki appeared to be feeling it too, he was doubled over and wheezing from the final sprint. After a minute of mutual wheezing from the two of them, Kuroo pulled himself off the ground and went to key in the access number. They made their way up to the top floor where Kuroo and Kenma's shared apartment was. Tsukishima's bags were still sitting in the entry way, and Kuroo moved to grab them as he took off his shoes.

"I'll put your stuff in my room if that's cool with you Tsukki"

A light blush (was he still feeling winded?) dusted Tsukishima's cheeks.

"I-i guess that's fine. Where are the clean towels Kuroo? I don't want to shower with one of your gross ones."

Kuroo scoffed loudly from the bedroom, grabbing a fresh towel (he had washed them yesterday, foreseeing this situation) and as he left walked through the door he threw the wadded up fabric at Tsukki.

"Fresh and clean, my prince~"

Tsukki snatched the towel before it hit him, and pushed his way past Kuroo into the bathroom.

"I'll try to leave you some hot water, but no guarantees" he smirked and waved back at Kuroo as he shut the door behind him. 

Kuroo groaned and threw himself over the arm of the couch. He really hoped Tsukki wouldn't take that long. But...

"He didn't take clean clothes in with him..." Kuroo whispered softly as his hand moved to cover his mouth. "I'm gonna fucking see him in a towel thank you karma for whatever I did to deserve this."

He scooted his way up the couch and turned on the TV to whatever channel was last open. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check for messages. One from Kenma that just said to not make any messes, and another that asked about Bokuto's big party tonight. One from Bokuto himself saying that he touched Akaashi's hand on accident while they were walking and he was TOTALLY gonna beat Kuroo to relationship city.  
Kuroo chuckled quietly and suddenly his eyes felt very heavy, and he vaguely felt his phone drop onto his chest as he drifted into sleep.

~~~~~~~~

Kuroo woke to a sharp pain in his forehead, squinting his eyes open to search for the source. He saw fingers coming towards his face again and grabbed the wrist said fingers belonged to. 

"Ahh, sleeping beauty has finally woken up?"

Tsukishima's voice drifted softly down. He freed his hand gently from Kuroo's vice grip. Kuroo stared up at him. He was fully clothed, Kuroo bemoaned his missed opportunity. Tsukki's hair was still damp though, he could see the soft curls hanging lower than usual on his face. It looked like he'd been growing his hair out too. Kuroo wanted to touch it. 

"Come on, dumbass. You smell bad. Go shower."

Kuroo puffed his cheeks up at Tsukishima, and swung his legs to the floor. He dragged himself to his room to grab some clothes and a towel, and as he approached the bathroom door he called out to Tsukishima, who was occupying himself with his phone on the couch. He turned to face Kuroo as he approached.

"Tsukki~, I know I'm a hot commodity and all, but you have to promise you won't peep on me"

Tsukki responded with an overdramatic eye roll and turned back to his phone.

"Kuroo, I'm not you. You've got nothing to worry about."

Kuroo scoffed as he slammed the door.

"Well," he muttered under his breath, beginning to strip out of his grass-stained clothing, "you're gonna miss out on quite a show."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"TETSU-CHAN~~~!!!!"

Bokuto burst in through the front door of Kuroo's apartment. He was followed by Akaashi, though he had the grace to apologize for intruding. Bokuto peered around the apartment and found Tsukishima instead.

"Yo, Tsukishima, where's Kuroo hiding?"

Kei barely glanced towards Bokuto in greeting, and then pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

"He's in the shower."

Bokuto wiggled his eyebrows at Akaashi, then Tsukishima, who both responded with equally exhausted eyerolls. Bokuto crept his way to the bathroom door. He slowly turned the door knob, and pumped his fist silently as he met no resistance; Kuroo was awful at locking doors and Bokuto took full advantage of his bro's forgetfulness. The door creaked open slowly and Bokuto peered slowly into the bathroom. There was too much steam, and as he craned his head through the doorway, he called out softly,  
"Kuroo-chan~"

Bokuto couldn't even see Kuroo in the steamy room and was convincing himself that maybe Kuroo had ascended to a new plane of existence when he heard a small whimper coming from the curtained shower. Then a muffled groan ripped from what Bokuto assumed was Kuroo's throat and he turned 8 shades of red as he fumbled to close the bathroom door again without Kuroo hearing. Not that he thought that would be an issue, if what was happening in there was what Bokuto had assumed was happening. 

That wasn't going to be easy to forget. He tried his best to shake the noises from his brain as he leaned against the wall. Akaashi was staring down at him with a gaze that was either curious or incredibly bored. Maybe it was both. Bokuto jumped up, incredibly eager to not see Kuroo upon his exit from the bathroom and in a fit of inspiration grabbed Akaashi's hand and dragged him to the front door.  
Kei didn't even bother looking up from his phone this time.

"Going so soon, Bokuto? I thought you wanted to see Kuroo..."

"N-NO it's fine. Kuroo is fine and I'm fine. You're fine. Akaashi is fine a-and we're gonna go drink a TON of coffee and buy a TON of booze for tonight I will see you AND Kuroo there!!! BYE TSUKISHIMA!!!"

He grabbed wildly for the door handle and pushed Akaashi through the doorway. Kei could have sworn he heard Akaashi quietly point out how much he hated coffee and Bokuto shushing him.

Kei groaned and sunk deeper into the couch. Kuroo was exhausting, and his friends were equally if not more exhausting than him. Except Kenma. Kenma had an inexplicable calming effect on every person in a ten foot radius. He kind of wished Kenma had been here for that, since they would have just pushed Bokuto right back through the door. He thought he might have heard the water shutting off from the bathroom. Good. He was getting tired of playing games on his phone. He had been stuck on one level for the past few days and couldn't figure out the solution to the puzzle at all, and if there was one feeling he really disliked the sensation of, it was being stumped.  
The bathroom door clicked open, and Kei heard Kuroo's bare feet pad lightly to his bedroom. Well, he thought wryly, at least now he'd have someone to do nothing with. They had hours until this party Bokuto was throwing, so what were supposed to do in the meantime? Kei shuddered at the thought of Kuroo driven to the brink of boredom, and the kind of convoluted time wasting activities he would probably come up with. His mind drifted briefly to other ways they could waste time and- no no no that was not where he wanted to be when Kuroo came out of his room. Kei Tsukishima would not and could not be found with painfully tented pants, it would just be too embarrassing and it didn't fit with his carefully maintained cool personality. Kuroo would probably think he was a pervert and would tease him mercilessly for the rest of his life. Ugh. He heard Kuroo's door click open and he scrambled to regain his composure, firmly smashing down the remainder of his half hard arousal with his phone. 

"Did you miss me, Tsukki?~" 

Kuroo had practically purred against his ear and Kei had to fight hard against his reaction to jump off the couch and instead was wracked with a wave of painful goosebumps. And a more unwelcome reaction as blood rushed to his cock and he was worse off than before. 

He swallowed down the excess of saliva in his mouth and managed to maintain his facade.

Eye roll: check.

Biting reply:  
"It took you long enough, I'm surprised you're not an actual prune by now."

check.

Kuroo launched himself over the back of the couch and rested his head on the arm rest and draped his legs onto Kei's lap. Kei sputtered and shifted under his friend's legs, trying to keep him from detecting his traitorous boner. That was not a conversation he was ready to have with Kuroo. Or anyone ever. 

"Did I hear Bokuto come over while I was in the shower?"

"Yeah, he seemed pretty intent on surprising you. He tried to sneak in the bathroom I think."

Kuroo had gone pale as a sheet.

Kei smirked, he was going to milk Kuroo's discomfort all he could. He hummed quietly, letting Kuroo stew.

"He sure ran out of here fast though, and he was even more disorganized than usual. I wonder what happened..."

Kuroo choked and tried to catch his breath,

"I--ahh I have no idea what is wrong with B-bokuto. Maybe he saw a...bug and got spooked? Or...something?"

Oh? Kei must have hit a gold mine. He hummed a question, but didn't push Kuroo any further. No use rushing the process. Kuroo clearly knew or had an idea of what spooked Bokuto and was obviously very averse to letting Kei know what happened. This needed some more sleuthing. Fortunately for him, both Kuroo and Bokuto had very loose tongues when they got drunk, and coincidentally Bokuto was probably going to buy ridiculous amounts of alcohol for tonight.

A sly grin crept across Kei's face and he focused back on the game in his lap, Kuroo's legs no longer resting on him. This weekend wasn't going as he had expected, but it was shaping up to be something interesting, at the very least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated greatly. I've been feeling rly uninspired to write, so every little bit helps. I wanted to get this posted before the first for kurotsukki week and a half, and because I'll be at anime midwest this weekend. 
> 
> If you'll be there message me I've got some haikyuu!! posters I'm trying to get rid of!


	4. Local Man Lewds, Breaks the Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itsa party time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -local fu boy crawls from the grave after 7 fkn months-  
> well this took me way too long to write. life got in the way, and then I had to force myself to write because what is motivation, right?  
> If you stuck around, thank you. I'll have more chapters coming out in the near future. This is unbeta'd so if you find any glaring typos or grammar things let me know lol

"HONEY, I'M HOME!!!"  
Kuroo leapt through the door to Bokuto's apartment positively thrumming with nervous energy. Tsukishima Kei on the other hand, was struggling under the weight of an unsafe number of plastic bags lining his arms. They had flipped a coin for the task of carrying their wares for the party before they shopped, and Tsukki had clearly underestimated Kuroo's love of fruity alcoholic beverages and salty snacks. _("Tsukki, there's no point to drinking if you can't even sort of enjoy the taste before you get completely hammered," he had lectured to the younger boy as they searched the shelves for the particular brand Kuroo needed)._ They had spent hours just walking around the store, deciding on what to bring tonight. Since they were both very picky about their methods of intoxication, they thought bringing their own would be the wisest decision. At least they were on the same page there.

Kuroo thought it would be wise to bring extra alcohol tonight not just for him and Tsukki, but because he was still nervous about how Bokuto would act after the mishap in the shower earlier. And if he was being really honest with himself, he knew Bokuto would end up buying some weird vodka with cucumbers in it or something similar because it looked cool on the shelf. He definitely didn't want to cross that one off his bucket list.

Kuroo heard a quick thump-thump-thump as Bokuto sprinted to the door and jumped straight into him, the pile of limbs nearly reeling into a red-faced Tsukishima. Clearly, Kuroo thought, nothing is keeping him from being normal around me. Bokuto quickly untangled himself from Kuroo and gave the blond a proper greeting, then scooped up all of the bags that were freed from Tsukishima's now-bruised arms.  
Bokuto hooted back at the pair as he lugged the bags to the kitchen,  
"You're both the first people here, I'm so excited for tonight you have no idea-- I invited SO many PEOPLE! I made an announcement in almost every class today ."

Akaashi was sitting on the couch, rubbing his temples and doing what looked like his best to calmly take in all the action. He nodded slowly at Kuroo and Tsukishima, "Hey Tsukishima, good to see you again. And it's nice to actually see you this time Kuroo, since you were...indisposed when we came over earlier."  
Kuroo heard a snicker from Tsukki behind him, he turned quickly and caught him trying to keep the laughter back with his hand. He still had no idea how much Bokuto had heard-- or seen, but he seemed to be his usual self. Akaashi and Tsukki though, may prove to be more troublesome. Hopefully if he let anything slip tonight they would all be too intoxicated to remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kuroo was feeling a pleasant buzz in his limbs as he surveyed the scene in Bokuto's living room. Luckily for everyone involved barely half of the people Bokuto randomly invited had shown up. It made for a pleasant mix of familiar faces and newcomers. Tsukishima was nowhere to be found, though. Kuroo frowned into his cup. He knew he had no right to be possessive of his friend, but damn it, what if someone tried to take advantage of him. He wasn't being possessive, he told himself, just a little protective. He scanned the room over the edge of his cup. There was Bokuto, circling Akaashi like a puppy begging for attention. He'd need to keep an eye on him later-- if possible. Drunk Bokuto would sometimes get sad and enter into what Kuroo called super-dejected mode, and he would have to all but peel Bokuto off of the floor.

A flash of blonde hair caught Kuroo's eye across the room, and he quickly realized it belonged to someone much shorter than Kei. Kenma had entered the room trailed by a guy who looked somehow famili-- oh no. Kuroo slapped his hand across his forehead. 

No fucking way was this happening. 

Kenma looked mildly uncomfortable with the attention they were receiving from the shaggy-haired boy, and it looked to Kuroo that they were attempting to blend in with the nearest piece of furniture. He inched his way along the wall to listen in on what was surely a golden exchange. 

"Kozume, I didn't know you knew Bokuto, that's so cool! It's probably fated that we walked in at the same time."

"Huh, is that so?", Kenma barely looked up from their phone. Kuroo couldn't help but snicker. Why Yamaguchi had picked Kenma to hit on tonight was anyone's guess, but he couldn't have made a worse decision since Kenma looked about as interested as a brick wall. Maybe he was more intoxicated than he looked, since the phone coming out should have been his first and last sign that this was not going to go well.

Kuroo had been observing the one sided conversation for a few painful minutes when a set of hands covered his eyes from behind. He peeled them off and turned around to see a very tipsy Tsukishima standing there with a cup in one hand and the other on his hip. He giggled as he attempted to detangle his hands from Kuroo's. Kuroo couldn't help but crack a smile, he hadn't seen Tsukishima this giddy in...well ever really. 

"Kuroooooo, why are you just standing around here? That's no fun at all. I thought parties were supposed to be fun and y-"

Kuroo cut Tsukki off with a gentle finger against his lips, shushing the much more intoxicated boy. Tsukishima's cheeks bloomed with red. Maybe he was even more drunk than Kuroo thought. He didn't know how many charges he could handle babysitting tonight. He wiggled his finger over his shoulder to draw the blonde's attention to the scene unfolding behind them.

His face blanched as his brain processed what he was seeing and Kuroo could see him tense up. He still didn't know how Tsukki felt about being this close to his high school sweetheart, but judging from his reaction, discomfort was probably high on that list. Whether it was from leftover feelings or regret, well, Kuroo wasn't sure he wanted to know. Yamaguchi had leaned his side against the wall in an attempt to stand closer to Kenma, but Kenma was still blocking him out with one word answers and quiet grunts, still completely buried in their phone. Kuroo decided it would probably be a good time to rescue his friend, since they apparently lacked the motivation to move out of Yamaguchi's range.

He handed his cup to Tsukishima wordlessly, to move stealthily behind Kenma, pulling them close by their hips. This was a routine they had pulled countless times since Kenma always seemed to attract unwanted attention at parties like this. Kuroo would waltz in and exude typical manly territorial bullshit, and Kenma would be free of unwanted advances for the night. If they wanted to pursue someone they could do it at their leisure. He decided Yamaguchi probably didn't need the full effect. He tilted Kenma's chin up and gave a slight peck to their neck. Yamaguchi's face drained of color as Kenma leaned their head over to give Kuroo room to rest his head on their shoulder.

"Hey Yamaguchi, how's it going? You seem real interested in Kenma here. Was he bothering you, baby?" Kuroo crooned in his best put-on sultry voice. 

"Only a little, Tetsurou", Kenma quietly whispered, and it caught both Kuroo and Yamaguchi off guard. Very rarely did Kenma use his first name, and it was typically when they were angry or frustrated with his antics. They were certainly convincing poor Yamaguchi who was now stuttering and trying to back out of the situation as fast as he could. 

"I-i-i-i'll see you around Kenma. Kuroo. It was...good to see you. I'm so-sorry."

Kuroo chuckled under his breath, releasing Kenma from his hold. They let out an exasperated sigh as they turned to face Kuroo. 

"I think that was our best one yet, Kenma. Very convincing. I predict I'm gonna have to squash down some very juicy rumors in the near future." 

Kenma's response was a flick to Kuroo's forehead, then they turned on their heel and backed into the crowd with a taunting grin on their face,

"I could have handled it Kuroo, I'm gonna go find Akaashi. He's gonna die when he hears about this." 

They paused before turning into the crowd, 

"Oh, and good luck Kuroo, don't fuck things up with you-know-who."

Kuroo paled as he realized the gravity of what just happened. He slowly turned back to where Tsukki had been holding his cup. And there was his cup...on the floor. And no Tsukishima to be found. Kuroo squatted and held his head in his hands. He had sort of forgotten that Tsukki had been there for the entire exchange, and he groaned at the prospect of explaining this mess to him. Kuroo straightened up and dusted off his hands. He fought the urge to go get more to drink, because besides being far too sober to deal with this, he imagined Tsukki didn't want to hear apologies from a bumbling drunk.

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Find me at queerxhell.tumblr.com and talk to me about kurotsukki


	5. Trapped in the closet, part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poppin bottles in the ice, like a lizard  
> When we drink we do it right, like a lizard
> 
> Tsukki is drunk and getting boners in the lewd thoughts closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short update, I'm finally figuring out where I want this to go and I really wanted to get this out asap!

Tsukishima was too drunk to deal with this. He had locked himself into the coat closet, since that was the closest door he had found and his intoxicated brain was screaming at him to hide somewhere and fast. He was aware that he was drinking too much in response to...whatever the hell he had just witnessed. Kuroo...and Kenma? How did he not fucking know that? He should have seen it from a mile away since they already lived with each other. Throw Yamaguchi into the mix and this was essentially his worst nightmare. Kei couldn't keep his brain from running drunken laps around the hundreds of hypothetical worst case scenarios that could play out tonight. 

_  
Really, what do I know about Kuroo Tetsurou?_ Kei thought to himself glumly as he took another sip of his drink.

 __  
He's smart, athletic, and really fucking weird. He has the worst sense of humor of anyone I've ever met in my life. Second to only Bokuto.  
  
Kei chuckled at that, reminded of the antics those two had gotten up to during his previous visits to their campus. They certainly brought out the worst in each other.

He didn't know if Kuroo and himself were any better, though. He sometimes forgot the rocky start to their friendship. 

They were two years apart in school. Kei had been taking some extra math classes at a cram school in his final year of high school, and Kuroo had apparently snuck into the class while he was waiting for his friend to be finished next door.  
_You can always benefit from keeping your mind sharp, and this is better than sitting on my phone in the hallway for 3 hours_ , Kuroo had intoned sagely, before begging Kei for paper and a pencil so he could work out problems along with the class.

Kei huffed at the memory; Kuroo hadn't left him alone at all during the class, and at one point the instructor had enough of Kuroo's quiet giggles and Kei's shushing and ejected both of them into the hall. Kei had been so pissed at him and he didn't even know his name yet. Kuroo had formally introduced himself after a few tense moments sitting outside the door, and somehow he ended up laughing with Kuroo in the small cafeteria over ridiculous animal videos. 

Of course, the friend Kuroo was waiting for was none other than Kozume, which brought Kei back to his nauseating present: self inflicted drunk exile in Bokuto's coat closet. His nearly empty cup reminded him that he wasn't nearly as drunk as he would like to be, and if he wanted to fix that he would need to come out of this closet eventually. 

Ugh. Not yet. Not ever, if Kei could help it.

He couldn't get the way Kuroo had looked out of his brain. A telltale tingle worked its way through his gut as he imagined Kuroo's breath on his neck, not Kozume's. Kuroo's hands working their way up his abdomen under his shirt to his chest and Kuroo's teeth grazing his ear, Kuroo's voice repeating the sultry tones Kei had heard only minutes ago.

"Fuckfuckfuck", Kei panicked at the realization he was getting painfully hard, and his pants were way too tight to be getting boners from thinking about Kuroo touching him. It wasn't his fault, shaking his head clear; it was definitely the alcohol clouding his judgment, and probably the fact he hadn't been intimate with anyone since Yamaguchi. That had to be it. Just hormones running their course. Sure, he'd hooked up with a couple people at school parties post-Yamaguchi, but nothing serious had come from them. He couldn't deny that there was some kind of chemistry with Kuroo, but he had mostly chalked it up to their competitive natures constantly clashing with each other. And clearly Kuroo wasn't interested in him like that if he had Kozume living in the same place as him. God, he was probably a nuisance when he visited, crashing the couple's love pad. Kuroo was probably too polite to say anything. Kei was just setting himself up for an unrequited crush that would be more of a bother than anything, and would also likely destroy the friendship they had. 

Voices floated through the crack under the door as a few people walked by, and Kei became incredibly aware that his hand had migrated to his crotch and he had been palming himself slightly through his jeans. The last thing he wanted was to be the guy caught jerking off in the coat closet. He imagined even for one of Bokuto's parties that was a new low to be achieved. 

As the voices grew more faint he mustered his courage and tentatively cracked the door open a small fraction and peeked into the hallway. It looked clear for the most part, just some people he didn't know were near the entrance to the kitchen. Kei let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, snatched his cup off the floor and crawled his way out of the cramped space. As the door swung fully open and he made his escape he came face to crotch with the last person he wanted to see tonight.

"Yo, Tsukki!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO IS IT????!
> 
> kudes and comments are always appreciated. Please feed my ego so I have the strength to get to the lewd stuff.


	6. Local man fucks it up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, I wrote most of this at least 4 months ago and I finally convinced myself to write more of this fic. I'm going to try to finish it up in 2 more

"Yo, Kur- oh"  
Tetsurou peeled his face off of the kitchen table and tried to discern where the voice came from. His surprise at Bokuto seated across from him, wrist deep in a bowl of hot cheetos was soon replaced by disgust at the dried up beer on his cheek. 

"You, uh...got a little, ya know", Bokuto gestured lazily around his own mouth. 

"I know, Bo" he groaned as he wiped at his mouth and cheek with the palm of his hand.

"So, can I ask why you were sleeping in a puddle of your own spit and beer at my kitchen table?"

Tetsurou leaned back as far as he could in the chair to the point of almost tipping. He ground both palms into his eyes and cursed under his breath.

"That bad?"

"My dude, I think I fucked up. Like really, really fucked it up."

"Well," Bokuto inhaled (becoming much more solemn than Tetsurou would have ever thought possible), "it sounds like you need to not beat yourself up or cover yourself in beer, for starters. Second, you gotta stop over thinking whatever it is that's making your brain spin like a fuckin hamster in a wheel."

He took a break to eat the handful of cheetos he had been waving around, followed by a long sip from his cup.

"Third, you gotta try this combo it sounds disgusting but hear me out, these hot things with this hard lemonade shit is fuckin prime, a-1 snackage."

Tetsurou let the laughter bubble up his throat, finally clearing the dark mood that had overtaken him. He laughed until he was wheezing, tears rolling down his face, and the laughter was exacerbated by Bokuto making the most owl-like face Tetsurou had ever seen: his head cocked to the side and one eyebrow halfway up his forehead.

"I'm gonna hurl dude, don't do that to your stomach or make me imagine doing that to mine ever again, okay?"

Bokuto's eyebrow descended back into typical Bokuto territory and he seemed more content with Tetsurou being visibly back to his normal self.

"You don't need to make fun of my snacks, bro. That's cold. I'm just trying to help you improve all aspects of your life. That's what friends are for," he pouted as Tetsurou pulled himself from the chair.

"You can do it bro, I believe in you." 

Bokuto gave him a thumbs up and wiggled his eyebrows at Tetsurou.

"And if you don't pull this off, my biceps and I are always here to console you!"

Tetsurou threw a handful of chips at Bokuto as he pushed himself out of the kitchen and back into the thumping heart of the party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei was in the most uncomfortable position of his short life. On his hands and knees and face to crotch with...

Kozume?

"Yo, Tsukki" they mumbled through a mouthful of chips, "what are you doing down there?" 

Kei became painfully conscious of his position and scrambled back into the closet.

Kozume did a quick back and forth check of the hall, clutched the bag of chips tighter to their chest, and shrugged as they followed Kei into the closet.

Kei blanched as Kozume closed the door and they both descended into darkness. He could feel the sweat beading on his forehead. What had he done in his present or past life to deserve the level of discomfort he was currently experiencing? 

As he plead with the powers in the universe, Kozume seemed content to let Kei stew in silence, only broken by the quiet crinkle of their chip bag followed by muffled crunches. Kei jolted when Kozume let out a sigh.

"Hey Tsukki--ah, it is okay for me to call you that, right? If you're dating my best friend we may as well be on a more familiar basis."

Another crinkle.  
More crunches.  
Kei released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He had started processing what Kozume had just said. Confusion hit him like a brick in his gut.  
"Kozume, did you ju--"

"And you can just call me Kenma like everyone else, the only people who use Kozume are my teachers."

Kei didn't think he'd ever heard Kozu--Kenma talk this much. Granted, he had never spent an extended time alone with them, but even around Kuroo, they were still fairly soft-spoken.

"Wait, did you say da-"

"Anyway, Tsukki," Kenma cut him off abruptly, "if you're dating Kuroo I thought it would be good for us to talk. Clearly there's no better place for that than Bokuto's tiny closet. Which is fitting for him, honestly."

Kei couldn't contain the giggle that bubbled from his lips, and he heard a small contented sigh from Kenma. 

Despite his confusion at everything the universe was throwing at him tonight, he didn't seem to be on Kenma's bad side. Maybe he had misheard Kenma say...that...word. 

Baiting? Grading? Raiding? 

All possibilities, Kei affirmed. Though, if Kenma was dating Kuroo, weren't they being awfully lax about this whole situation? Thinking about it more and more made Kei's head spin, and he couldn't stop visualizing Kuroo's mouth on Kenma's small ear, trailing down their neck-- Kei felt vomit rising in his throat; the acrid burn left a nasty taste on his tongue. He didn't want to think about it anymore. His hand drifted to his face and he realized tears were trailing lazily down his cheeks.

Kenma broke the tense silence.

"Are you okay, Tsukki? I could literally feel you trying to bolt out of here." 

A pause, an inhale. 

They continued quietly, "To be honest, if you did I couldn't really blame you. I think we both know Kuroo isn't always the smartest guy and you're probably thinking a lot of nasty things about me because of...earlier."

The chip bag crinkled shut, and Kei felt apprehension settle around him like a blanket.

Kenma continued, "I think I need to set some things straight with you, Tsukishima."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tetsurou had resigned himself to a corner of Bokuto's couch. He sipped on his drink and felt the inevitable panic rising in his body. Had he been able to find Tsukki, things would probably be resolved by now. However, as it currently stood, he had been dumped by both his love interest and his best friend. He had checked everywhere for the two blonds, but had come up empty handed. He had, however, found more booze, and Tetsurou had decided that was his current top priority.

He lazily swung his neck back and drained the remains of his beer and proceeded to take stock of the room. People were starting to get tired and pair off, the tables were covered in abandoned cups and bottles, and a few unlucky party goers were propped up against the walls, heads hanging towards their legs.

Some people just couldn't handle their liquor, Tetsurou chuckled to himself as he rather ungracefully staggered from the couch. Feeling a lot more dizzy than he had before he decided to get up, he resolved himself to try to find Tsukki one last time, and if he couldn't it was between him and the pudding head to get back on their own. 

Tetsurou walked along the wall towards the kitchen, enjoying the coolness against his arm when a wall that wasn't there a second ago firmly met his face and sent him sprawling onto his ass. 

"That's called a door, you fucking dumbass," he giggled to himself.

"Did I run into...something?" A small voice came from behind the door. Tetsurou would know that disinterested voice anywhere. 

Kenma's head peeked around the door, then shot back out of view faster than Tetsurou thought they were capable of moving. Maybe it was just because he was completely plastered. 

"Kenma...why me?"

Their head came slowly back into view,   
"I'm sorry Tetsurou, how was I supposed to know your head was going to be right there when I opened the door?"

"That's rude, you rude fuckin'...pudding,"

The rest of their body appeared from behind the door and Tetsurou was met with a disapproving glare that rivaled his mother's.

"How drunk are you right now?"

Tetsurou put on his picture day smile,   
"Not enough, I reckon,"

Kenma rested their forehead on their hand and exhaled. 

"Get in the closet, Tetsu,"

"Kenma! You wound me, you're the last person I'd expect that from," he clutched at his heart in mock disbelief.

Kenma responded with a deadpan glare and a shrug, as they sauntered past.

"Alright, but don't say I didn't _try_ to get you laid."

Tetsurou had his fight or flight moment as he stared at the closet door, then Kenma, then back again to the door. He stuttered a moment and the scrambled towards the door. There's no way things could actually go his way tonight. He pulled the door back and saw the person he needed to see the most. 

Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes as his heart swelled in relief.

"Kei"

**Author's Note:**

> This was just supposed to be smut and then?? I wrote an actual plot?? 
> 
> Comments make my day and kudos are appreciated! I've got some other fics you should check out too!  
> ( ˘ ³˘)♥


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